5 Tips to Get More Time with Your Kids

Whether married or not, when parents split up, a ‘parenting schedule’ sets your time with your

kids. The stakes are high. So, what can we do to get the odds in your favor?

Parenting schedules mostly come down to three things:

1. Endangerments

2. Logistics and

3. How the parents get along

‘Endangerments’ are safety concerns. Think drug or substance abuse, mental illness,

abuse/neglect, unsafe environments, and domestic violence.

Judges know their top job is keeping kids safe. They won’t look past these issues -- expect

them to decide the outcome.

If you’re on the wrong side of this kind of issue, the best tip is to ‘get real’ about it. Fix the

problem fast. Offer safeguards the Judge can feel good about. Don’t hope the Judge will

ignore it or think you can distract by throwing dirt on the other side. If the other parent also has

a big issue, fix yours first, then put the focus on them.

Endangerments aside, these five tips focus on ‘logistics’ and how the parents get along.

1. Living Close By

2. Flexible Work Schedule/Being Available

3. Cooperating with the Other Parent

4. Being Involved

5. Breaks from School

Living Close By

This is probably the biggest factor in getting more time with your kids. But why?

In Illinois, the law says a ‘day’ of parenting time requires you have your kids ‘overnight’. To do

this, you must balance your work and social calendar with your kids’ school and activities.

Living close by means you’re also close to your kids’ school and activities. You can get them

where they need to go in less time. This makes it easier to balance your schedules.

An ‘equal’, (50/50) schedule of parenting time can work when you are close by. Judges

presume that it is in a child’s best interest to maximize the involvement of both parents. If you’re

living too far away, you create a conflict between your time and the kids’ school and activities.

You also create more travel time for the kids and the parents.

Judges and custody evaluators prefer to decide a parenting schedule on the ‘logistics’ to avoid

giving the sense that they favor one parent over the other. If you can make this a non-factor by

living close, you should.

Flexible Work Schedule/Being Available

The pattern should be clear – you’ll get more parenting time by being around and available.

A flexible work schedule can allow you to ‘be there’ when your kids need you. That means

getting them to and from school and activities. Simple so far. It also means you can do this

without having to jump through too many hoops. The more complicated a system is, the easier

it can break down. If you’re relying on a live-in nanny or getting your kids up at 4AM so you can

get to work on time, you could be taking on more than you, or your kids, can handle. Don’t make the mistake of promising you will have a flexible schedule. Show it. If you can build a track record of reliability, it won’t go unnoticed. Again, the key is not to let the court use your work schedule and the distance between residences as a justification for a less than desirable parenting schedule.

Cooperating with the Other Parent

Broken relationships carry a lot of baggage. But there’s no avoiding the fact that you’ll be

dealing with the other parent until your kids graduate and turn 18. A good ‘working’ relationship with the other parent means you’ll be seeing your kids more than you otherwise might. Cooperation goes both ways. You get half of that equation. You choose what you say and how you say it and whether or not you do favors. There’s no guarantee that you’ll get the same in return, but picking fights and hurling insults gets you nowhere – in court or out. Even the simplest of parenting schedules will require both parents to be flexible. Building up ‘good will’ can mean more and better time with your kids.

Being Involved

Do you know your kids’ coaches, teachers and doctors? Do you attend their practices, games,

appointments and conferences?

These things aren’t the only measure of a good parent, but, in a contested case, the details can

matter. Yes, there are other ways to show how much you do for your kids, but why give the

other parent a leg up on these critical details?

I recommend creating a simple spreadsheet with names, numbers, and contact information. A

parent who can show active involvement with their kids, won’t be easy for the Judge to ignore.

Breaks From School

While there is certainly a push for more ‘50/50’ parenting schedules, you can still run into

Judges who favor the ‘every other weekend’ tradition.

You may also find that your work and other circumstances make a ‘50/50’ next to impossible.

In this situation, you can get more time with your kids during their breaks from school. Winter,

spring and summer break can play by a different set of rules than the ‘regular’ school schedule.

A parent with the short end of parenting time during the school year can and should ask for

more time during school breaks.

Note: Keep in mind that every case is different and as unique as the people involved. The law

in Illinois requires the court to consider several factors when rendering a decision on parenting

time. 750 ILCS 5/602.7 Each of these factors can be weighed differently depending on the

facts. A skilled and qualified family attorney can provide you valuable guidance and strategy to

reach your desired outcome.